Can't believe I've cheated myself of stuff like this, by not getting married

Slightly misogynistic but very funny (take the time to read the entire thing)
Ex Wives

Ahh! throw a couple more guys down at once and finally Chinese Downhill will be reborn
Wok Boarding

FYI - lest you think me culturally insensitive
In skiing there's a tradition, made famous in the movie "Better Off Dead", called the "Chinese Downhill". In it, a group of racers are taken to the top of a hill and let loose, the object being to get to the bottom first, but the impetus being making it there a live as there are no rules. It's a sick little game, played on back sides of mountains all over the world

Let's see that's Dog, Cat, Gerbil, Horse, ect.. awww I've only found 27 in my Gordita
Microchip detects traces of 33 different species of animals in food
"The presence of unwanted or unknown animal species in food, can have a range of effects from benign to deathly serious and is of great concern for public health, economic, religious and legal reasons. Manufacturers and consumers alike have been unable to examine the composition of food at a molecular level. However, for the first time, the bioMérieux FoodExpert-ID Array is being used to detect DNA sequences specific to an animal, allowing species composition to be determined, safeguarding the purity and authenticity of food products."

That Bush guy ... nothing but class
How would you feel about a person who thinks it is okay to grab your shirt and use it clean their eyeglasses?

That's how arrogant our President is. During a commercial break on the David Letterman show, producer Maria Pope was on stage and discussing something with Letterman, and while she was standing there in front of Bush, George leaned forward, grabbed the back of her sweater and used it to clean his glasses.
HUMAN KLEENEX