Mean but Hilarious

Papernapkin is a email address that you can handout to strangers that are just a little too insistent about getting your eMail address for a date

(ie - anyname@papernapkin.net or anyname@paamail.com if you're trying to be not so obvious)

 

Here is the rejection letter you receive when you send an email to one of those addresses

Subject: Nice to hear from you

Ha ha, just kidding. Actually, this is a rejection letter. The person who gave you this email address does not want to have anything to do with you.

This is probably bad news, and many people cope with bad news in phases: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Let us help you through these:

"It must be a mistake": Nope. You got an address in the form anyname@papernapkin.net or anyname@paamail.com, right? Well, all we here at papernapkin.net do is send rejection notices. If you got this email address, it wasn't an accident. No, you've definitely been rejected.

"Why is this happening to me?": Well, there are two main points. First, the person you wrote to obviously had this email address ready to give you, so they probably get hit on a lot. Second, for whatever reason, that person would rather let you get this rejection letter than reject you in person. So who should you be mad at: all the other creeps who have hit on this person before you, ruining your chances; or you yourself for being too intense or scary to be let down gently? Either way, you really shouldn't be "angry" at anyone - what good does that do?

"I promise I'll do better next time": Fine, great, but just not with this same person, okay? The message being sent here is pretty clear. Besides, it may not even be your "fault" - as we pointed out above, this person was hit on enough to memorize anyname@papernapkin.net long before you came along. Maybe you're just out of your league here. Maybe this person has built up some walls that are just too thick to breach. Either way, don't try again. If you do, you're just going to seem like a stalker... or worse! Go ahead and clean up your act if you think you should - just be sure to find a different audience to try it out on.

"I don't care anymore": Aw, we can't leave it like that! Buck up, little nipper! It isn't all bad! At least you were rejected in the privacy of your own email account; you had no chance to do or say anything that you would later regret; and you've saved the time and effort of pursuing a no-chance relationship.

Besides, you didn't just get rejected - you've learned about a great new tool: papernapkin.net. After all, this is nothing personal to us. We have no beef with you, and we'd be just as pleased to serve your rejection needs as we are to serve anybody else. So if you ever need to reject somebody, be sure to tell them to write to you at anyname@papernapkin.net.

How's that? All better now? Good. And good luck to you. Maybe next time you will get a real email address!

Sincerely,
-PN: http://papernapkin.net/

 

Section that contains samplings of emails sent by the rejectees

http://papernapkin.net/blog/index.php?cat=2

What happens when Calgary Flames girls move out east

A female hockey fan lifted her top and shook her breasts at rival fans -
at a junior game played by 11-year-olds.

John Gardner, head of the Greater Toronto Hockey League, said he was
"aghast" at the actions by the mother of one of the players.
"What prompts people to do these types of things? It's a little disturbing.
We're talking 11-year-olds here," he told the Toronto Star.
It happened during a confrontation between parents of players near the end
of a match between the York Toros and Mississauga Terriers.
In a letter to the league, one parent who witnessed the alleged incident
called it "unfortunate" and "disturbing".
"She lifted her top well above her breasts. Wearing a bra she shook her
breasts side to side," the woman wrote.
The shocked parent, who has young boys, says she headed for the exit soon
after with her sons - but ran into the woman again.
The woman claims the flasher said: "What the hell are you looking at? Have
you never seen t**s?"
When reached by phone, the woman said she didn't want to discuss the matter:
"That's none of your business," she said.
The league has invited the woman to a special committee meeting where
disciplinary steps, such as banning her from arenas, will be considered.