I can barely come up with a caption

Oh ... maybe something like 'He should have choked the chicken instead'
OR
D@mn it, Bad Dog, drop it Bad Dog!!!

A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.
It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night. I confused it with the chicken's neck, Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it.
Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.